just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
