Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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