? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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