He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize