I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
