WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
