those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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