i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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