I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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