There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize