she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
