is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
