I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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