There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
