real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
