She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
