I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
