remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
wow bdsm is so cute
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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