highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
