Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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