He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
