so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
