Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
