Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
