i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
