This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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