Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
