They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize