do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Randomize
