:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
