i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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