I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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