I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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