and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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