We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
