Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
