I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Randomize