You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
