I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
