So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
zippers are such a cool invention
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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