hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize