your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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