the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
