he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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