Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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