Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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