So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize