i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
