You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
