Screwed.edu
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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