last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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