We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
