3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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