When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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