hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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