When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
