found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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