For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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