at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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