i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
