she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize