Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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