I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
