I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
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