Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
