I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
