After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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