He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
