Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize