My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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