well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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