Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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