Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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