Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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