He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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